Archive for February, 2008

Crazy email filtering

PC 200” posted a blog entry about their force’s email filtering system which made me laugh enough to want to mention it here.

They block inbound attachments, which could be a pain, but is sensible enough.

However, they also block “bad” language (as I’m sure the police don’t get subjected to foul language often, and their poor, delicate sensitivities would be mortally offended by it….) - but then send you an email to report that an inbound mail was blocked, describing why:

You’ll get an email which says something along the lines of “you have been sent an email containing offensive or inappropriate language. The language contained is of a value of 60 points. The word was either one of the following or a derivative of: fuck, fucking, fuckers, mother-fucker, fuck-off”.

So, they’ll block the email containing the word that might offend you, then send you an email containing that word and many other alternatives of it!

And the other thing which intrigues me, is that somewhere in the Home Office a committee has sat around a table wondering how many points to give swear words. You can imagine it. A whole afternoon, or more, debating how many points to give ‘bollocks’. “OK, we’ll give ‘bollocks’ 50 points, agreed?” “No, if we give ‘bollocks’ 50 then we have to give ‘arsehole’ 65, surely”, “Yes, but if we give ‘arsehole’ 65 then we have to reduce ‘wanker’ to 63.” “OK, let’s give ‘bollocks’ 45.” “No we can’t do that because ‘balls’ is 45.”

I’ve been reading his blog "200 Weeks" for a while now, well worth a read.

Finally updated header

Finally got round to updating the header image for my blog last night; it’s somewhat gone Christmas now, so the blue snowflake header image wasn’t really appropriate any more :)

Happy commercially enforced cruelty to roses day

Happy Valentines Day… yes, it’s that time of year where Hallmark’s wonderful advertising makes us all feel that we must pay for overpriced tat to “demonstrate our love”, otherwise we’ll feel guilty… bah humbug.

So, in honour of the day, here’s some alternative Valentine poems.

WARNING - the later ones (after the jump) are somewhat adult… I suggest you don’t read them if you’re easily offended.

roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
In Soviet Russia
Poem writes YOU!

Continue reading ‘Happy commercially enforced cruelty to roses day’



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