Archive for the 'humour' Category

Economic Models and Business Strategies explained with Cows

Shamelessly robbed from Metcountymounty’s post on Sheepdogs & Wolves (but also seen several times on other sites… yes, it’s an old one :) )

I think Britain most definately fits under the Socialism description here.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes one of them and gives it to your work-shy neighbour.
They laugh in your face.
Continue reading ‘Economic Models and Business Strategies explained with Cows’

Cunning advert

An advert from a flooring company, looks quite innocuous at first glance:

Clever advert

But, look at it upside down, cover the lady’s head and glass, and it takes on a whole different meaning….

It looks like this must have been done on purpose - that or it’s a very happy coincidence.

Shamelessly stolen from Khushil’s post :)

(Oh, and ignore the typo on the text someone added - “what do do you see” - heh).

Friday fun post 2008/03/12

OK, finally doing another Friday fun post!

Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”.
Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night - or it’s $5 if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.

“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.” “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, “There’s a hell of a lot of steps here.”
The second drunk says, “I’ll tell you what’s worse, this hand rail is bloody low down”

Continue reading ‘Friday fun post 2008/03/12′

Prick with a fork?

Have to repost this from today’s DailyWTF.

This is suppose to be a real product packaging for some sausages for a supermarket in Ireland, before the supermarket relised the problem and withdrew the product.

Background: Ainsley Harriott is a TV chef in the UK (I think he came over to the US at one point), he’s an alright guy but can be a bit annoying at times, and does get overly excited and irritating on his shows.

Ainsley Sausages

(To start with I didn’t read the instructions at the bottom of the packaging - took me a few seconds to get it :) )

Surprised nobody picked up on it before they went on sale!

Family (mis)-fortunes

OK, these are old, but they still gave me a chuckle.

Contestants from the ITV (UK) Family Fortunes game-show are asked to guess the most popular answers to questions posed in a survey. These are some of the answers given.

I particularly liked:

A bird with a long neck (2): “Naomi Campbell..”

Continue reading ‘Family (mis)-fortunes’

Crazy email filtering

PC 200” posted a blog entry about their force’s email filtering system which made me laugh enough to want to mention it here.

They block inbound attachments, which could be a pain, but is sensible enough.

However, they also block “bad” language (as I’m sure the police don’t get subjected to foul language often, and their poor, delicate sensitivities would be mortally offended by it….) - but then send you an email to report that an inbound mail was blocked, describing why:

You’ll get an email which says something along the lines of “you have been sent an email containing offensive or inappropriate language. The language contained is of a value of 60 points. The word was either one of the following or a derivative of: fuck, fucking, fuckers, mother-fucker, fuck-off”.

So, they’ll block the email containing the word that might offend you, then send you an email containing that word and many other alternatives of it!

And the other thing which intrigues me, is that somewhere in the Home Office a committee has sat around a table wondering how many points to give swear words. You can imagine it. A whole afternoon, or more, debating how many points to give ‘bollocks’. “OK, we’ll give ‘bollocks’ 50 points, agreed?” “No, if we give ‘bollocks’ 50 then we have to give ‘arsehole’ 65, surely”, “Yes, but if we give ‘arsehole’ 65 then we have to reduce ‘wanker’ to 63.” “OK, let’s give ‘bollocks’ 45.” “No we can’t do that because ‘balls’ is 45.”

I’ve been reading his blog "200 Weeks" for a while now, well worth a read.

Happy commercially enforced cruelty to roses day

Happy Valentines Day… yes, it’s that time of year where Hallmark’s wonderful advertising makes us all feel that we must pay for overpriced tat to “demonstrate our love”, otherwise we’ll feel guilty… bah humbug.

So, in honour of the day, here’s some alternative Valentine poems.

WARNING - the later ones (after the jump) are somewhat adult… I suggest you don’t read them if you’re easily offended.

roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
In Soviet Russia
Poem writes YOU!

Continue reading ‘Happy commercially enforced cruelty to roses day’

Ank Air should have considered their logo

Turkey’s World Focus Airlines decided to rebrand their company to “Ank Air” - shame they didn’t think about the consequences of putting that next to their existing “W”-shaped logo :)

Wank Air

Stick your digital camera in a TWAT

A friend just passed on a link to a Sony camera case on Amazon with a rather unfortunate name - the LCS-TWAT. Not sure I’d want to insert my camera into a brown leathery TWAT myself, but each to their own ;)

Either they weren’t thinking, or it’s clever viral marketing….

TWAT case

(Click for full-size screenshot, in case the original item on Amazon happens to get pulled/renamed or anything).

Mohammed the bear on a t-shirt

Ah, chargrilled.co.uk move quickly!

Mohammed T-shirt

(If this is lost on you, see the news story about a teacher out in Sudan who’s been jailed (and will subsequently be deported) for allowing the children in her class to vote on the name for a teddy bear - they chose “Mohammed” as their favourite. Apparently, naming it Mohammed is “an insult to religion”. Meanwhile, to contrast, over here life sentenced reduced to minimum 3 1/2 years for beating a disabled man unconcious, urinating on his body and throwing him into a river to drown? What.. the… fuck?)



get some tasty email addresses here